Bring the funny

I have two funny stories, for public consumption.

(1)
Last Saturday I went with James and Mike to see the movie "Fearless". Mike was late, so James and I bought our tickets. James went first, and when he was done, the fellow at the register called me up. I thought I heard him ask what movie, so I answered, paid for my ticket, and went in. As James and I were waiting for Mike, he pointed out something. The fellow at the register had actually asked, "How are you doing tonight?" And I answered, "Fearless," and stepped right up.

Awesome.

(2)
A couple of us were hanging out after Greg's Olivetti talk last Tuesday. The others were talking about sporadic groups and related stuff, and I wasn't too interested so I opened the door to leave. I was halfway out when I heard Greg say, "It's a well-known result in group theory that ------- is a dick."

I won't fill in the name, but it's pretty funny no matter who you put in there. After I stopped laughing, I said that although the result made sense to me intuitively, I was wondering what the standard proof was. Without missing a beat, Mike replied that the proof is by inspection.

Awesome.