Absorbant and yellow and porous is he.

I want to share a hilarious dialogue from a comic I was just rereading. The first guy is being interrogated by a government agent.

---

"All right, all right, I'll tell you what you want to know."
"That's more like it. You're making the right move, deciding to cooperate with the government, Mr. Rictor. Now, tell us about your contacts with the X-Cell."
"I've only ever seen the one guy."
"Can you describe him?"
"Kind of a squarish head... long nose... wide, crazy eyes..., yellowish skin..."
"Could be jaundice. Probably a drug addict."
"Probably."
"What's his name?"
"Robert, I think. Something like that."
"Where can we find him?"
"All I know is that he said he lives under the sea."
"Under the--?"
"Yeah. In a pineapple."
"Interesting."

---

That is just priceless. You know who he's describing, don't you? Later, the government agent's boss comes in.

---

"So what have you got?"
"His contact is named 'Robert' and he claims to live in a pineapple under the sea. I'm figuring that's code for a secret aquatic base."
...
"You don't have any children, do you?"
"Uh... no. I'm married to my work."
"Feel free to make it an open marriage. [To herself] Great, now I'm gonna have that stupid song stuck in my head all day."

The very smallest one.

I've been watching the new Incredible Hulk movie, which came out on DVD this week. It's really quite good, even if the Hulk still creeps me out.

There's this fantastic line that I had completely forgotten about. Bruce Banner and Betty Ross are visiting Samuel Sterns, who may have a cure for Bruce's big, green condition. Dr. Sterns warns them about the dangers of miscalculating the antidote amount, and uses the phrase, "... if we miscalculate this by even the smallest integer ...".

BWA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!

This is funny because of the blatant misuse of the term integer. The integers refer to the numbers 0, 1, 2, 3, 4, ..., together with their negatives -1, -2, -3, -4, ... . So, in the normal sense of "smallest", there is NO SMALLEST INTEGER! Even if by "smallest", one means closest to zero (i.e. smallest in absolute value), then the smallest integer is just zero! To miscalculate by zero means to calculate EXACTLY CORRECTLY!

I'm not sure Dr. Sterns is such a great scientist. He clearly didn't pay much attention in math class. Of course, he is destined to become the insane super-villain known as The Leader, so his priorities are probably pretty out of whack to begin with.

Oh man, there's something else really funny from a movie that I wanted to write about, but I've completely forgotten what it is. Oh well. There's always room for one more post!

All the time

Oh my gosh, I do this ALL THE TIME.

By the way, if you don't already, then you should really check out this webcomic, Piled Higher and Deeper. And if you really like it, buy a book or two and help support the struggling academic/artist!

Batman, you can be such a jerk.

I've been watching my seasons of Justice League while grading (best money I ever spent. EVER.), and there was a really funny scene that I wanted to relate to you.

There's been this massive jail break, with all sorts of dangerous super-villains on the loose. There's also this one prisoner, who is just a regular criminal and was actually in a coma, and he's disappeared. Batman says that he's going to investigate this guy's disappearance (which is good since he is actually the one behind everything, not that there's any way Batman can tell at this point).
Green Lantern points out that there are many other much more dangerous bad guys to pursue, and that this one guy is just a nobody.
Batman replies with the story from the Odyssey where Odysseus pokes out a cyclops' eye, and when asked his name he replied that he was "nobody". So when the cyclops goes to tell his friends who poked out his eye, all he can say is, "Nobody did it."
Green Lantern seems placated, and responds, "Point taken."

What the hell?! That story has absolutely nothing to do with the situation, except for the connection to the fairly random use of the word "nobody". What a load of nonsense!
I guess the point of this whole bit is that Batman just wanted to go do what he wanted to do, so he gave this whole story, hoping to confuse Green Lantern and get off the topic. And I guess it worked, because Green Lantern either didn't realize that there wasn't any connection, or assumed there had to be a connection (because Batman is very smart, and he definitely wouldn't LIE, would he), and was embarrassed too embarrassed to admit he didn't understand it.

Batman just messes around with everyone else. I think that's what was happening.

Got it.

I was just introducing my good friend Jessica to my new bear. (Jessica graduated from here over the summer and is now a postdoc at Stanford. She is back here for a conference for women in probability.)

Anyway, I was telling her about some of the bear's possible names. I mentioned "Nicholas Bourbaki", but she misheard me and thought I had said "Nicholas BEARbaki". I replied that I had not said that, but that I would say that from then on, because that was definitely his name.

In searching for Nicholas's name, I had some interesting discussions with people. Many of them said had teddy bears or other species of stuffed animals, either at the present or in the past. Josh told me that one Easter his parents sent him a basket with a little stuffed animal lamb. He had just been reading poetry by William Blake at the time, so he named the lamb Blake. A good fit.

Caitlin bought herself a teddy bear when she went away to college, because her blanky was too aged and worn to take the trip. Her bear is still with her. I can't remember his name right now.

I remember that when I was little, I had lots of stuffed animals (I still do), and at bedtime I would have to put them all on my bed and get them under the covers, and I would worry that they weren't all covered, or that it would be too stuffy under the covers and they'd have trouble breathing. I was so silly. I don't spoil my current stuffed animal friends like that.

More bear, more bear!

I think I've decided to call him Nicholas, but my sister suggested Gershwin, which is also awesome. I'll let him think about it for a little while.

Mr. Bear stole my hat.


Mr. Bear noticed a pornographic image on my screen, and selflessly threw himself in front of it.


Mr. Bear was not happy about something, but I'm not totally sure what.

Whatsisname?

I have recently adopted a new bear, but unfortunately I don't know what his name is yet. He has a bear name already, of course, but I need something I can pronounce. He refuses to give me any help.

He seems quite taken by Category Theory.



He is following the Presidential and Vice-Presidential campaigns very carefully.



I recently became interested in the name "Bertram", but I don't think that quite right. I thought of the name "Bieberbach", after the German mathematician Ludwig Bieberbach, but he didn't exactly work in the same field of math that I do. (Maybe Cartan instead?) I'm also not sure what would be short for Bieberbach. Although the more I think about it, the more I kind of like it. Bieberbach. Bieberbach Bieberbach.

What about Bourbaki, after the invented personage Nicolas Bourbaki? I could refer to him as Bourbaki, or Nicolas. Hmmmm.

Bieberbach Bieberbach.

What do you think? Any ideas?