Here are some little thoughts I've had recently, which I found entertaining.
Consider the statement, "That's a ton of apples!" In most circumstances, this is an exaggeration. We mean that there is a rather large number of apples, not that the totality of these apples actually weight one ton (although that would indeed be a very large number of apples).
Consider now the statement, "That's a ton of people!" Assuming that the average person weighs about 150 pounds, one ton of people is probably just 13 to 16 people, (depending on which ton unit you are using). If you say, "There were a ton of people at that dinner!", then this might be accurate, but if you say, "There were a ton of people at that concert!", then you are probably massively under-exaggerating! Isn't that interesting?
(This thought was not my sole creation. I share the credit with my good friend Mike, who I have mentioned before.)
I was recently in the mood for ice cream, so I went to the supermarket to buy some. As was perhaps inevitable, after picking out some ice cream I found myself searching for some whipped cream. Next to the canisters of whipped cream, (Reddi-wip, to be exact), were some canisters of Cool Whip. These were on sale (by about 7 cents), so I bought one.
I like Cool Whip, but I realize that it is only tangentially related to the superior whipped cream, even the stuff in the canister. That's why I was so amused to find, at the end of the list of ingredients on the Cool Whip canister, a warning reading something like, "This product may contain some milk."
I realize that this warning is there to ward off people with relevant allergies or intolerences, but I couldn't help but feel that it was also some kind of plea. "We're really very much like real whipped cream. Really! You might even find some milk in here somewhere."
My good friend Josh, who was not long ago a fellow math graduate student with me at Cornell, recently did the following Things.
(1) Accepted a postdoctoral research position at a very prestigious institution. (Hint: It starts with an "S" and ends with a "UNY Stony Brook".)
(2) Defended his thesis, whose title I cannot currently remember or locate, but whose presentation was very good.
(3) Got married, the presentation of which was also very good.
(4) Moved. (See Thing (2).)
I had a dream last night about Josh and his new wife, Hannah. In my dream, part of their moving and him starting his new job was that they had to go into witness protection. (I have no idea why, although it made sense in my dream.) I recall suggesting a number of different new names for him. He was due to choose his name the next day, but he wasn't allowed to show any opinion about the names I came up with, in case he ended up using one of them. Apparently his and Hannah's new identities had to remain secret for a little while, until they got settled into their new lives. He promised to get in touch with me and tell me their new names, when he could. One of the people helping him set up this new identity was his advisor, who in addition to being a very well-respected mathematician, in my dream was also a liaison to the Federal government.
I have the best dreams, sometimes.
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