Sunday, October 26, 2008

Absorbant and yellow and porous is he.



I want to share a hilarious dialogue from a comic I was just rereading. The first guy is being interrogated by a government agent.




"All right, all right, I'll tell you what you want to know."
"That's more like it. You're making the right move, deciding to cooperate with the government, Mr. Rictor. Now, tell us about your contacts with the X-Cell."
"I've only ever seen the one guy."
"Can you describe him?"
"Kind of a squarish head... long nose... wide, crazy eyes..., yellowish skin..."
"Could be jaundice. Probably a drug addict."
"Probably."
"What's his name?"
"Robert, I think. Something like that."
"Where can we find him?"
"All I know is that he said he lives under the sea."
"Under the--?"
"Yeah. In a pineapple."
"Interesting."




That is just priceless. You know who he's describing, don't you? Later, the government agent's boss comes in.




"So what have you got?"
"His contact is named 'Robert' and he claims to live in a pineapple under the sea. I'm figuring that's code for a secret aquatic base."
...
"You don't have any children, do you?"
"Uh... no. I'm married to my work."
"Feel free to make it an open marriage. [To herself] Great, now I'm gonna have that stupid song stuck in my head all day."

Friday, October 24, 2008

The very smallest one.


I've been watching the new Incredible Hulk movie, which came out on DVD this week. It's really quite good, even if the Hulk still creeps me out.

There's this fantastic line that I had completely forgotten about. Bruce Banner and Betty Ross are visiting Samuel Sterns, who may have a cure for Bruce's big, green condition. Dr. Sterns warns them about the dangers of miscalculating the antidote amount, and uses the phrase, "... if we miscalculate this by even the smallest integer ...".

BWA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!

This is funny because of the blatant misuse of the term integer. The integers refer to the numbers 0, 1, 2, 3, 4, ..., together with their negatives -1, -2, -3, -4, ... . So, in the normal sense of "smallest", there is NO SMALLEST INTEGER! Even if by "smallest", one means closest to zero (i.e. smallest in absolute value), then the smallest integer is just zero! To miscalculate by zero means to calculate EXACTLY CORRECTLY!

I'm not sure Dr. Sterns is such a great scientist. He clearly didn't pay much attention in math class. Of course, he is destined to become the insane super-villain known as The Leader, so his priorities are probably pretty out of whack to begin with.

Oh man, there's something else really funny from a movie that I wanted to write about, but I've completely forgotten what it is. Oh well. There's always room for one more post!

Sunday, October 19, 2008

All the time



Oh my gosh, I do this ALL THE TIME.

By the way, if you don't already, then you should really check out this webcomic, Piled Higher and Deeper. And if you really like it, buy a book or two and help support the struggling academic/artist!

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Batman, you can be such a jerk.


I've been watching my seasons of Justice League while grading (best money I ever spent. EVER.), and there was a really funny scene that I wanted to relate to you.

There's been this massive jail break, with all sorts of dangerous super-villains on the loose. There's also this one prisoner, who is just a regular criminal and was actually in a coma, and he's disappeared. Batman says that he's going to investigate this guy's disappearance (which is good since he is actually the one behind everything, not that there's any way Batman can tell at this point).
Green Lantern points out that there are many other much more dangerous bad guys to pursue, and that this one guy is just a nobody.
Batman replies with the story from the Odyssey where Odysseus pokes out a cyclops' eye, and when asked his name he replied that he was "nobody". So when the cyclops goes to tell his friends who poked out his eye, all he can say is, "Nobody did it."
Green Lantern seems placated, and responds, "Point taken."

What the hell?! That story has absolutely nothing to do with the situation, except for the connection to the fairly random use of the word "nobody". What a load of nonsense!
I guess the point of this whole bit is that Batman just wanted to go do what he wanted to do, so he gave this whole story, hoping to confuse Green Lantern and get off the topic. And I guess it worked, because Green Lantern either didn't realize that there wasn't any connection, or assumed there had to be a connection (because Batman is very smart, and he definitely wouldn't LIE, would he), and was embarrassed too embarrassed to admit he didn't understand it.

Batman just messes around with everyone else. I think that's what was happening.

Tuesday, October 07, 2008

Got it.

I was just introducing my good friend Jessica to my new bear. (Jessica graduated from here over the summer and is now a postdoc at Stanford. She is back here for a conference for women in probability.)

Anyway, I was telling her about some of the bear's possible names. I mentioned "Nicholas Bourbaki", but she misheard me and thought I had said "Nicholas BEARbaki". I replied that I had not said that, but that I would say that from then on, because that was definitely his name.

In searching for Nicholas's name, I had some interesting discussions with people. Many of them said had teddy bears or other species of stuffed animals, either at the present or in the past. Josh told me that one Easter his parents sent him a basket with a little stuffed animal lamb. He had just been reading poetry by William Blake at the time, so he named the lamb Blake. A good fit.

Caitlin bought herself a teddy bear when she went away to college, because her blanky was too aged and worn to take the trip. Her bear is still with her. I can't remember his name right now.

I remember that when I was little, I had lots of stuffed animals (I still do), and at bedtime I would have to put them all on my bed and get them under the covers, and I would worry that they weren't all covered, or that it would be too stuffy under the covers and they'd have trouble breathing. I was so silly. I don't spoil my current stuffed animal friends like that.

Monday, October 06, 2008

More bear, more bear!

I think I've decided to call him Nicholas, but my sister suggested Gershwin, which is also awesome. I'll let him think about it for a little while.

Mr. Bear stole my hat.


Mr. Bear noticed a pornographic image on my screen, and selflessly threw himself in front of it.


Mr. Bear was not happy about something, but I'm not totally sure what.

Friday, October 03, 2008

Whatsisname?





I have recently adopted a new bear, but unfortunately I don't know what his name is yet. He has a bear name already, of course, but I need something I can pronounce. He refuses to give me any help.

He seems quite taken by Category Theory.



He is following the Presidential and Vice-Presidential campaigns very carefully.



I recently became interested in the name "Bertram", but I don't think that quite right. I thought of the name "Bieberbach", after the German mathematician Ludwig Bieberbach, but he didn't exactly work in the same field of math that I do. (Maybe Cartan instead?) I'm also not sure what would be short for Bieberbach. Although the more I think about it, the more I kind of like it. Bieberbach. Bieberbach Bieberbach.

What about Bourbaki, after the invented personage Nicolas Bourbaki? I could refer to him as Bourbaki, or Nicolas. Hmmmm.

Bieberbach Bieberbach.

What do you think? Any ideas?

Thursday, September 18, 2008

I'm so excited, and I just can't hide it.


I'm so excited, because I'm going to go see The Dark Knight tonight, for the third time. It hadn't even occurred to me that it was still playing, but a friend of mine hasn't seen it yet and noticed it was there, so there it is.

There, now I am back from seeing the movie. And you wouldn't even know, except that I'm telling you! I wore my cool Batman hat, and even brought a little Batman action figure with me in my pocket. (I didn't take it out except during the movie in the dark, because I was afraid my friend would make fun of me.) Incidentally, the movie is still officially AWESOME. I mean, wow.

Saw some great previews, too. The trailer for Watchmen is incredible incredible (Dr. Manhattan looks fittingly magnificent and frightening, and Rorschach fittingly bad-ass and cool). The new James Bond movie seems like it will be pretty cool. I think Daniel Craig is such an interesting take on the character. He's much more rough and tumble, and he has a scary edge to him that seems more fitting than the somewhat untarnished flippancy of previous actors. And of course, there's The Day the Earth Stood Still. What can I say, except Klaatu barada nikto?


Earlier this evening I once again saw a particular commercial for The Olive Garden that always makes me chuckle. There's a bunch of people sitting at a table in the restaurant, and there's some sort of deal where you choose exactly which kind of pasta you want and exactly which sauce, and maybe something else. One fellow says that he's "done the math" on the pasta, and cites the number of possible combinations of pasta and sauce. His friend replies, "You do the math, I'll do the alfredo!"

I absolutely cannot wait until the next time I'm talking about math with someone, and the opportunity arises for me to utter this phrase, and I actually remember to do it. What an utterly magnificent non sequitur!

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Good news, everyone!

I just heard about a very cool thing. Apparently, the genetic codes of the human genome and the pumpkin genome are 75% the same! Seventy-five percent! And pumpkins are awesome! (One reference for this is a slightly old article from The Atlantic Monthly.) Of course, I suspect that for some of us this figure is only a lower bound.

Monday, September 15, 2008

Bon mots

I just want to jot down two neat things I read recently. The first is from Astonishing X-Men (3rd series) number 13.

"I'm totally cool. I'm totally calm, and I'm totally cool.
My calm is only exceeded by my cool. Which is total."


Shadowcat said that. The issue was written by Joss Whedon, as were the twelve before it and the twelve after it. His run on X-Men is probably my favorite ever.

The second is from a Halloween greeting card.

outside of card: "On Halloween, if you hear a creepy, continual scratching at the window, it's probably just a branch."

inside of card: "Zombies use them to reach the windows."

Thursday, March 27, 2008

I can't win.

I'm ditching that idea about reviewing comic books that I read. I don't think too many people I know are all that interested. Besides, it takes too much time.




The other day, my girlfriend and I were sitting on the floor in my apartment, eating dinner at my coffee table. (I have a regular table too, with chairs and everything, but I like the floor sometimes.) She was complaining, mostly jokingly, that I talk to my cat more than I do to her. Just then, the feline in question leaped onto the table with a view to sampling our meal. I shouted, "Sofi, NO!" (Sofi is the cat's name.) My girlfriend looks at me and says, "See? Ignored again."

Hehehe.

I just realized how weird, but funny, it would be if Sofi were my girlfriend's name, and I had reacted to the cat trying to steal our food by shouting at her. As if to say, "No, let her try some!"

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

New agenda

My goodness, it's been a long time!

I just saw an add on the Fox television station for the Super Bowl. They said they would have somebody out on the red carpet interviewing people. There's a red carpet at the Super Bowl???? Things sure have changed since the last time I watched. (I think they were actually referring to the Pre-Game Show, although I still think it's strange that this is a red carpet affair.)

I read a really wonderful poem sequence at the beginning of a collection of Calvin and Hobbes comics I have, and I've been trying to find the book so I can reread it, and maybe post part of the poem. But it seems to be lost in the wilds of my bedroom. It occurred to me that what I really need is a Search Window for my bedroom. I could type in "Calvin Hobbes", and it would give a list of several locations in my room where I have Calvin and Hobbes books, or anything containing both words. Better yet, it could produce a glowing circle around the physical location of the search results.

Oh yes. The future will be cool.




So I thought I would start a new agenda for this blog, or at least for when I feel like using the new agenda. I am a huge comic book fan, by which I mean that I really love comic books, and that I am a comic book fan who is kind of a physically large person. But mostly the former.

I mostly read comics in the form of Trade Paperbacks, which are usually collections of some number of individual comic books collected together in one volume. I thought an interesting thing for me to do might be to give a review of new comics that I read. I won't offer a detailed summary, but just give my thoughts and feelings about the story, and whether or not it is worth the price on the cover. More details about the stories and characters can almost certainly be found on Wikipedia, or elsewhere on the internet.

(If anyone reading this is interested in reading some comics, I would be happy to recommend something that you might like, based on your personal fiction interests.)

Let us begin.




Wetworks
Writer: Mike Carey
Penciller: Whilce Portacio
Price: $14.99
Purchased at: Borders, Ithaca, NY
Publisher: Wildstorm

This was a restart of the original Wetworks series, which apparently ended with the deaths or disappearances of most of the original characters. I never read the original series, and I'm beginning to regret it. I always assumed the book was about a military-type strike team that performed especially nasty missions. But it seems I was wrong. Instead, it is about a military-type strike team whose members have been enhanced by golden alien symbiotic armor, and who fight supernatural threats such as vampires and werewolves. Now that is pretty cool.

The new team contains only a couple of the original characters, and adds a vampire woman and a werewolf man. The latter is a detective from an alternate universe where the supernatural creepies have destroyed most of humanity, except for small pockets safeguarded by the few paranormal beings who fight on the side of the angels. These apparently include werewolves and some demons and ghosts. This alternate universe seems to be where a lot of the current and upcoming story will take place. There is a weapon, or something, which is a box containing the spirits of vampires who were executed by the werewolf police, and this seems to be what everyone is scrambling to get.

It's pretty cool. There's also a good bit of military and governmental intrigue and betrayal and hidden agendas thrown in, which was apparently a large part of the original series as well.

There aren't a lot of interesting super-powers floating around, but I think that's ok. This book is worth reading, and worth the price.




Uncanny X-Men: The Extremists
Writer: Ed Brubaker
Artist: Salvador Larroca
Price: $13.99
Purchased at: Borders, Ithaca, NY
Publisher: Marvel

This was a very good book too. Ed Brubaker has garnered an impressive reputation, and I think it is largely well-deserved. He has written several stories recently which fall under the category of, "What you thought was true wasn't really true. Here's what really happened, and has been happening all along." I'm thinking of his resurrection of Captain America's old sidekick, Bucky, who was long thought deceased but was actually brainwashed into being an assassin called the Winter Soldier for a Russian mastermind, kept in suspended animation and only thawed out for missions. And I am also thinking of X-Men: Deadly Genesis, where he revealed that the team of X-Men gathered in Giant-Size X-men #1 formed to rescue the original team from the living island, Krakoa, was actually the second such team formed and sent in, and that the original team was slaughtered, and that Professor Xavier telepathically erased all memory of any of this from everyone. This original team contained Cyclop's and Havok's brother, who they didn't know existed, and who somehow survived all this and eventually woke up and then went off to destroy an intergalactic empire, and ended up becoming it's ruler instead. (This second part happened in X-Men: The Rise and Fall of the Shi'ar Empire.)

I know how all of this sounds. But the fact that such stories were actually wonderfully written and completely believable, modulo comic book fiction, is tremendous testament to Brubaker's talents.

This book did not especially fall into that category. There was a new character introduced who was supposed to have been around all along, but it wasn't a major character, so no big deal. The story was mostly a continuation of the effects from and reactions to M-Day, an event where most of the mutants in the Marvel universe suddenly lost their powers. Specifically, it is about how many of the Morlocks dealt with this. The Morlocks were a group of mutants whose mutations were too obvious for them to live with everybody else, so they hung out underground in caves and sewers.

It's a good story, featuring Xavier, Storm, Warpath, Nightcrawler, and Hepzibah. I love the recent use of Warpath. This is a nice, odd little collection of characters. Xavier has his powers back, and he is not shy about using them to manipulate and investigate and deceive, all in the name of protecting the people he has sworn to protect. It's nice to see him back in action like this. The character has gotten a lot of slack for misusing his powers like that, but I think it makes for interesting reading. There's a good reason that mutants are hated and feared. They are damn powerful. And there are many good reasons that you don't mess with the X-Men, and Xavier is reason number one.

One of the main things coming out of Deadly Genesis, as well as Astonishing X-Men: Dangerous, is that most of the X-Men simply do not trust the Professor anymore. And I can't really blame them. This group is led by Cyclops, (who is recently back to being the canny and experienced tactical genius he's supposed to be). In counterpoint, we have people like Nightcrawler. When asked to accompany Xavier on a mission into space, putting aside recent disagreements, Nightcrawler simply replies, "You are and always will be the man who saved my life. Of course I'll go." (This may not be the exact quote.) Of course, you have to wonder whether Xavier somehow manipulated this situation, in order to obtain exactly this gratitude. He couldn't have, could he? No, surely not. But maybe. But no. Hmmm......

Larroca's artwork was wonderful. His style has always been attractive. I first saw his work in Excaliber, long long ago. He has since then done amazing work on all sorts of things, mostly on the X-Men. But recently it looked like he was getting a little complacent. Things didn't look as real as they could. They were painted and pretty and smooth, but somehow not organic enough. But this book was soooo different. Fantastic work. I'm not sure exactly what it was. Maybe he had a different colorist here, or he began using more shadows, but the effect is pronounced. These are real characters, with real expressions. I want to say that Xavier especially looks interesting, but really they all look great.

The only bad thing I have to say about this is that the story has the feel of being the beginning of a much larger saga. And maybe it is. But that's not how it was advertised. As an individual instance of story, it really doesn't have enough momentum. But maybe after I read what comes next, which I think is a storyline called Messiah Complex, I'll change my mind.

At any rate, well worth reading, and definitely worth the price.